You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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