yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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