I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
