You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
