You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
