Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
