Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
