Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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