16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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