Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
