You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
