i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
