That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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