Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
