I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
