So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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