1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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