he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
