so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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