a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
