Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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