"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
