Plan B is the new Plan A
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
