: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
