just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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