Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
