I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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