wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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