Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
