Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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