We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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