i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
