Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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