Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
