MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
