I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
