Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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