We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
