Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
