The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
