You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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