why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
