Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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