Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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