She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
