Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
