I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
