I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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