69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
