school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
