I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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