He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
