hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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