The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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