please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
