how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
