big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
