I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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