Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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