Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
