I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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