Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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