I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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