I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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