Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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