I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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