You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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