I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
