Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
